Sono entrata nei gruppi di DONNE su FB dove parlano di UOMINI

Overview of the Video’s Narrative

In January 2022, Mimi goes on a first date in New York with Caleb, an attractive man who appears considerate and “does everything right.” After the date, Mimi texts her friends and wonders whether he will contact her again.

Caleb does not message for days, and Mimi becomes anxious and humiliated—experiencing “ghosting.” The video frames ghosting as especially painful because it leaves unanswered questions and creates a lingering sense of being “left in the dark.” Mimi copes by posting a TikTok sketch about the situation, trying to laugh it off.

The “West Ham Caleb” Trend

The video goes viral and sparks a larger pattern. Many women comment that they’ve also dealt with a “West Ham Caleb”—a Caleb who works for “West Ham” as a furniture designer. While Mimi’s Caleb is the one from her date, commenters claim it’s the same person appearing in multiple online dating interactions.

Viewers describe repeated experiences such as:

• Intense attention and compliments (“love bombing”) early on
• Sudden disappearance afterward

A second, more explicit TikTok then names and warns about “West Ham Caleb,” and the trend spreads further through additional testimonial videos.

The video argues this is not merely about one bad dater, but about how multiple women report strikingly similar experiences involving the same individual.

Expanding into More Serious Allegations

Coverage broadens beyond dating discomfort into more serious claims. The video includes accounts such as:

• Kate Bearce (23-year-old podcaster): She says Caleb sent her a non-consensual photo after she shared her Halloween costume.
• Testimonies about deception across dating apps: Accounts describe men appearing on multiple dating platforms while misleading partners, including married men and cheaters.
• “Cory Douglas” (case example): Allegedly convicted of killing his fiancée, and later appearing on dating apps. One commenter claims a Facebook group provided more protection than the formal legal system.

The Origin and Purpose of “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Groups

From this context, the video shifts to the origin and role of a social phenomenon: Facebook groups titled “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” (created around 2022).

The idea is described as a “TripAdvisor for dating”, where users post photos and profile details of people they find on dating apps, asking other women whether they recognize him or can identify red flags.

Key features described:

• Groups are mostly private, with approval and/or tests to join
• Users often remain anonymous
• The groups’ rules include:
  • No spreading false information
  • Requests that personal experiences shouldn’t be dismissed

The Creator’s Core Critique: Safety vs. Privacy

The creator emphasizes that these groups involve real risks and trade-offs:

• The line between evidence-based warnings and gossip can become thin.
• Some people make judgments based on appearance alone (e.g., “looks like a psychopath”).
• Others make broad assumptions (e.g., “attractive men being divorced = other problems”).
• Even protective intent can still lead to privacy and reputational harm if a man is posted without being aware he is being discussed.
• A “privacy paradox” emerges: the groups aim to increase women’s safety while potentially exposing men publicly without consent.

Nuance and Consequences

The video frames the issue as complex rather than simply “good” or “bad.” It acknowledges that fear is real for people dating strangers online and argues that perceived safety needs are understandable.

At the same time, it warns that if every negative interaction becomes a public condemnation—especially with heavy labels like “narcissist,” “manipulator,” or “gaslighter” used casually—then real abuse can be trivialized and genuine nuance can disappear.

Ultimately, the creator asks viewers to consider:

• Whether these groups genuinely protect people—or unfairly endanger others
• Whether “doing the right thing” sometimes requires consequences beyond privacy

Presenters / Contributors

• Olimpia (creator/narrator)
• Mimi (character; also the person whose TikTok sparked the trend)
• Caleb / “West Ham Caleb” (individual discussed; not a presenter)
• Kate Bearce (podcaster contributor in the testimonial)
• Jessie (testimonial subject)
• Kai (testimonial subject)
• Cory Douglas (case example discussed; not a presenter)
• Vice (mentioned as a source for Jessie’s quote)