"I Hunt Down The Government's Mistakes" Creepypasta

Summary

A lonely fast-food worker is recruited into a secretive government program and put through a year of brutal training without being told what the job is. He eventually learns he is meant to track down escaped experiments and other “mistakes,” preferably bringing them back alive for further testing. His missions turn him into a capable but increasingly numb hunter, while raising the question of whether he is becoming another monster himself.

Early Missions

The narrator’s first assignments range from bizarre to deadly. The Ice Cream Man, a robotic-looking former human, lures people with hypnotic music and memory-wiping ice cream. The narrator tranquilizes him and takes his truck.

Ripper, who can trigger localized earthquakes, is living quietly under a new identity. The narrator is ordered to kill him and shoots him at home. Next, he hunts the Ghoul, a fast, powerful cannibal hiding in a popular forest. Ordered to capture him alive, the narrator uses himself as bait, gets a chunk of his shoulder bitten off, and eventually subdues the creature with a second tranquilizer.

After recovering, the narrator captures Romeo, a stunningly handsome experiment whose charm can sway nearly anyone. The narrator resists his spell—partly, he suspects, because Romeo’s vanity disgusts him—and tranquilizes him at his mansion.

Kong, a human-gorilla hybrid, seems intelligent and accepts his fate rather than fleeing. The narrator kills him with a sniper shot, then privately struggles with the guilt of killing someone who may not have wanted to hurt anyone.

The Cost of the Work

The darkest job involves Delilah, a ventriloquist’s doll who can control anyone who looks into her eyes. She has used her power to make a family kill themselves in a grotesque display, then taunts the narrator during the drive back. Her remarks hit a nerve: he recognizes that the work is changing him and that he is becoming more comfortable with violence.

Soon after, the narrator is ordered to kill Jack, who reveals that he used to do the same job. Jack had tried to quit, but the narrator kills him anyway. He realizes that he could face the same fate once he is no longer useful.

The Escape

The story escalates when the narrator hunts Mimic, an escapee who can copy faces. A strange man who seems able to pass through walls leads him to her and warns that Delilah is coming for him.

Before long, an attack on the government facility frees numerous experiments, including Delilah. The narrator joins another hunter to pursue two fugitives, but they are ambushed and captured by the mysterious man and Delilah.

Delilah says she wants the narrator specifically, arguing that he chose this life while the other experiments never had a choice. Her allies inject him with a serum, apparently intending to turn him into something new. He wakes beside a dead hunter and what appears to be his own dead body, but the serum has failed to transform him.

When Delilah is brought close, the narrator looks into her eyes without losing control. He uses a lighter hidden in his shoe to set her alight, escapes the burning house, steals a car, and goes into hiding.

The narrator ends by admitting that he is done hunting for the government. He knows his story may bring the agency after him, but refuses to be anyone’s puppet—government’s or Delilah’s.

Humor and Notable Reactions

The narrator’s dry, grim jokes provide brief relief amid the horror. He calls Romeo’s charm nauseating, compares his mansion to something designed in The Sims, and threatens to look up the nearest wood chipper when Delilah keeps provoking him.

His most affecting reaction comes after killing Kong: the creature’s human-looking eyes make the narrator feel ashamed of the kill.

Key Figures

• The narrator: A government hunter who becomes increasingly hardened before finally rebelling.
• Delilah: A sadistic, mind-controlling puppet and the story’s central antagonist.
• Ice Cream Man, Ripper, Ghoul, Romeo, Kong, Mimic, and Jack: Other experiments or former government hunters encountered during the missions.
• Trauma: An escapee who can inflict terrible nightmares through touch.
• The ghostly man: A mysterious figure who appears to assist Delilah and can seemingly pass through objects.
• Other hunters, scientists, and government handlers: Supporting figures in the secret program.