Calling All Villains - Pilot

Summary

The pilot opens with The Big Bad proclaiming that villainy is back—then revealing he’s dying and inviting the galaxy’s evildoers to compete to become his successor. Mr. Puzzles, who’s been drifting through failed attempts to find his purpose, takes the opportunity. His wistful opening song about not knowing who he is gives way to a full-on villain-recruitment broadcast and a trip to the Big Bad’s lair.

There, Mr. Puzzles is assigned to Batch Z, a team that includes the intimidating Lord General, the gleefully violent Pink Thing, and the swaggering WPNZ, also known as Box Head. Mr. Puzzles and WPNZ recognize each other as old friends who thought they’d lost one another, though their reunion quickly turns into the sort of explosive bickering that suggests they’re still very much themselves.

The team also gets a visit from the Big Bad, who insists he’s still got it before launching into a showy villain song about his glory days and his hope that one of the recruits can carry on his legacy.

Their first mission is to steal the Sacred Scribbler, a mighty pencil that can control the inhabitants of the paper planet Origam-3. Mr. Puzzles tries to plan a careful operation, but the team’s egos and chaotic instincts derail it almost immediately. The pencil gets broken in the scuffle, prompting a desperate claim that it has “had a baby”—a baby pencil that immediately objects that nobody is buying the story.

The group’s attempt to recover the situation is no less messy: Mr. Puzzles disguises himself as a jester to distract the king, while the others cause a rolling series of fights, pratfalls, and paper-themed mayhem.

The mission takes an unexpected turn when the king confides in Mr. Puzzles. He feels like a failure trying to live up to his late father, and doesn’t even understand the grand, old-fashioned language he uses to sound kingly. Mr. Puzzles admits that he, too, has spent years failing and feeling out of place after leaving everything familiar behind. He urges the king to start over—but just as the king agrees, Mr. Puzzles gives the team’s codeword, “Peanut Butter Hour,” and the other villains rush in. The Big Bad arrives to claim the pencil, leaving the king’s escape—and Mr. Puzzles’ sincere moment—behind in the chaos.

The Big Bad gives Batch Z a mixed verdict: they completed the mission, but their performance was full of missed shots, confusing entrances, and a lack of intimidation. He places them in Batch Z, but says he sees something terrible in them and is rooting for them. The team grumbles that his judgment—and his musical number—was questionable, then rallies around the idea that they can still claw their way to the top. Mr. Puzzles and WPNZ reaffirm their loyalty to each other, even as they acknowledge that trusting anyone is risky.

Notable Jokes and Highlights

• The Big Bad’s absurdly specific boast about winning the “Nobel Disturbing-the-Peace Prize.”
• His villain song’s shameless pitch to stream it and “help us go platinum… or face the consequences.”
• Mr. Puzzles trying to study villainy from a book while the team keeps disrupting him.
• The “baby” Sacred Scribbler calling Mr. Puzzles “dada.”
• The villains briefly bonding over how bad their teamwork is—then worrying that cooperation might make them seem nice.
• Mr. Puzzles’ heartfelt conversation with the king getting abruptly undercut by the mission’s codeword.

Personalities Featured

The Big Bad, Mr. Puzzles, WPNZ/Box Head, Pink Thing, Lord General, Lady Killer, Dave, the king of Origam-3, and the Bone Drones.