Why People (Really) Stopped Having Children

Summary

The video investigates why fertility rates have fallen across much of the developed world, with a particularly noticeable decline beginning around 2008. The narrator argues that no single factor—such as women’s employment, abortion, or the economy—fully explains the trend.

His central explanation is that changing social expectations have made having children feel like a demanding choice that must wait until a person has the right partner, career, finances, home, and timing. As a result, many people have fewer children than they would like.

Historical background

• For much of history, families commonly had many children, partly because child mortality was high and children could contribute to work.
• Industrialization changed the costs and benefits of raising children. Families moved into cities, where children were more often an expense than a source of labor. Expanded schooling also reduced the time children spent in paid work.
• Fertility declined across industrializing countries. It fell further during the Great Depression, then rose during the postwar economic boom.
• Around 1960, fertility dropped sharply in many countries. The narrator attributes this primarily to the arrival of reliable birth control—especially the pill—which gave families much greater control over when and how many children to have.
• A further, widespread decline began around 2008 in developed countries. The narrator says a similar decline appeared later in some developing countries.

Explanations the narrator considers

• Women’s liberation and employment: Women’s expanded educational and career opportunities can delay parenthood and leave less time for additional children. However, the narrator argues that employment alone does not explain the recent decline. Women’s employment rose only modestly in the United States between 2000 and 2024, and countries with high female employment can still have relatively high fertility.
• Later parenthood: According to the figures cited, the median age of women at first birth rose from 26 in 2000 to 30 in 2024. Delaying a first child can reduce the time available to have a second or third and may increase the chance of having none.
• Abortion: The narrator notes that abortion prevents births but argues that the trends he presents do not show it driving the recent fall in fertility. In several countries, abortion rates and birth rates declined at the same time. He also cites international figures suggesting that reported abortion rates were higher, on average, in countries where abortion was more restricted.
• Economic pressures: Financial limitations affect many couples’ ability to have their desired number of children. The narrator uses his own family’s situation to show how housing, schooling, food, and space can make an additional child difficult, even for a relatively privileged household.
• Smartphones and 4G: The video describes research linking the rollout of 4G and widespread smartphone use with subsequent fertility declines across different countries. The narrator cautions that this timing does not prove smartphones caused the decline. Instead, he suggests phones may be part of broader changes in attention, relationships, and social expectations.

The narrator’s household example

The narrator and his wife, Carlita, have two young children and would like a third. They would need either to give up his home studio and find other workspace or move to a larger home. He estimates that a third child would add roughly €1,500 per month in housing, groceries, schooling, and miscellaneous costs.

Public-school options in their neighborhood were limited, and moving farther out of the city would require a lifestyle compromise.

Their example illustrates the video’s broader point: the decision is not simply whether a couple wants children, but whether they are willing or able to give up some of the space, money, time, and lifestyle they currently value.

Method and evidence presented

• The narrator compares fertility trends over time and across countries, including Canada, the United States, the Netherlands, Spain, and examples from developing countries.
• He examines historical events and social changes alongside fertility trends, including the Great Depression, the postwar boom, and the spread of birth control.
• He compares fertility with women’s employment and abortion rates to assess whether those factors track the recent decline.
• He discusses research associating 4G or smartphone adoption with later declines in fertility, while emphasizing that correlation alone does not establish causation.
• He uses his family’s budget and housing situation as a personal case study, not as proof that every household faces the same costs.

Overall conclusion

The video’s main lesson is that falling fertility is not explained by a single technology or policy. The narrator sees it as the result of long-term social change: parenthood is no longer an assumed stage of adulthood, but a choice that people increasingly postpone until life feels sufficiently secure and well arranged.

He argues that many people still want children, yet the standards and practical demands they attach to having them can lead them to have fewer than they intended. The video also points to Israel as an example of a developed country with higher fertility, attributing this in part to social norms that strongly value parenthood and larger families.

Speakers and sources featured

• The narrator/host: Presents the investigation, personal story, and household-cost calculations. His name is not given in the subtitles.
• Carlita: The narrator’s wife, introduced in the personal account. The subtitles include a brief reference to her speaking by phone, but do not identify her further.
• Incogni: The video’s sponsor. The narrator delivers an advertisement for its personal-data removal service.
• Guttmacher Institute: Cited by the narrator for international abortion statistics and findings about abortion restrictions.
• Financial Times: Cited for calculations comparing fertility declines after smartphones became widespread.
• Unnamed researchers: Mentioned as having studied the relationship between 4G rollout, smartphone adoption, and fertility rates.
• Data and country examples: Fertility, employment, and abortion comparisons are discussed for Canada, the United States, the Netherlands, France, Spain, Sweden, Denmark, Greece, Italy, Poland, Israel, Indonesia, Senegal, Egypt, and Mexico.