Will I ever want to have kids? | The Gray Area

Overview

The episode of “The Gray Area” explores why millennials and Gen Z may hesitate to have children. It argues that today’s so-called “fertility crisis” is increasingly driven by structural and psychological uncertainty, not only biological infertility.

Structural “uncertainty” behind declining parenthood

Anna Lou Susman (author of Inconceivable) argues that modern life feels uniquely uncertain. Key sources of this uncertainty include:

• Slower social mobility (fewer expectations that people will surpass their parents economically)
• Rising inequality
• Declining job quality and increased risk—especially in countries with limited safety nets

This uncertainty influences whether people feel secure enough to begin families.

Money and the organization of life

A central driver in the discussion is economic constraint, including:

• Housing costs in job-rich cities
• Childcare expenses, which can require thousands of dollars per month to keep working
• Additional “unexpected” parenting costs (e.g., medical care, education, and day-to-day expenses—along with “surprise costs” that show notes highlight for early childhood)

Susman also argues that money affects more than affordability. It reshapes:

• Time
• Priorities
• Expectations
• Psychology

In this framing, people may invest heavily in “project me” (career, stability, trauma-informed goals) before they consider “project someone else” (a future child).

“Anxious class” and the missing safety net

Drawing on a term from Robert Reich, the episode describes an “anxious class”—people who fear that a job loss or economic shock could quickly unravel:

• Housing security
• Health coverage

With a hollowed-out middle class, there’s no reliable buffer. The result is that having a child can feel like a high-stakes, low-control situation—also described as an arms race in education and advantage-building.

Pandemic effects and uneven “baby bump”

The episode notes that the pandemic temporarily altered work and social life, particularly for many white-collar workers able to work from home. For some, family life became more feasible, creating a limited “baby bump” trend.

However, the episode emphasizes these changes were uneven by class and race:

• Some flexible workers experienced improved ability to shape life around parenting
• Essential/frontline workers did not get the same opportunity

Climate anxiety and the political atmosphere

Interviews and examples included in the episode suggest some people delay or reject parenthood due to:

• Climate anxiety
• Fear of political and social consequences (e.g., mass migration, worsening conflict, and perceived failures to act urgently enough)

Susman challenges framing climate impacts as an individual “don’t have kids” solution. She argues responsibility is systemic—involving fossil fuel companies, militaries, governments, and regulation—not simply individual reproduction.

“Structural infertility”

A key concept introduced is structural infertility:

• Historically, infertility was understood primarily as medical (blocked tubes, sperm issues, implantation problems).
• Susman argues that broader, non-medical factors now functionally make parenthood harder, such as:
  • Needing much longer to reach career and housing milestones
  • Environmental harms (e.g., pollution, wildfire smoke, and heat impacts during pregnancy)
  • Social conditions that delay or prevent families from forming

Fertility technology: hope mixed with commercialization

The episode treats reproductive technologies (e.g., IVF, egg freezing, surrogacy) as a double-edged sword:

• They can enable millions of births and be lifesaving.
• But Susman argues the fertility industry increasingly operates under a financialized incentive structure, where structural infertility drives demand.

Marketing practices—such as egg-freezing imperatives like “do it now”—are criticized as ethically mixed. They may pressure people (often those with resources) into banking reproductive options rather than addressing underlying causes.

Ethical concern: access and “opting in” only for the wealthy

Susman stresses that infertility care and advanced fertility options are not equally accessible, meaning parenthood becomes more of an option for those who can pay to reduce risk.

She also cites forecasts suggesting infertility cases may rise significantly, strengthening the case for broader access and more supportive public policy.

What policies could change (and why uncertainty should be reduced)

Susman argues for reducing uncertainty by building a stronger safety floor, including:

• Fairer tax/welfare systems and more robust family policy
  • She notes Scandinavia’s baseline support helps, but uncertainty remains shaped by higher living costs and delayed milestones worldwide.
• Community-level support to reduce isolation and make parenting feel less like a solitary gamble

She closes by emphasizing interdependence—a social approach that reduces loneliness and increases the likelihood that people won’t fall through the cracks.

Presenters / Contributors

• Christine Emm (host, filling in for Shaun Illing)
• Shaun Illing (mentioned as the usual host)
• Anna Lou Susman (guest; journalist; author of Inconceivable)