Signs you are an average man

Summary

The speaker describes the “normie,” or average man, as someone without a standout physical feature. He shares personal experiences of how he believes appearance affects dating, social life, and work. He says that after building abs, tanning, regrowing his hair, and later getting a hair transplant, he went from seeing himself as below average to above average.

People may treat you more neutrally

He recalls being disrespected and friend-zoned in high school, then experiencing less overt disrespect at university. Women were generally friendly but platonic, he says. He argues that social confidence may matter more when someone is neither especially unattractive nor especially handsome.

Dating apps can be discouraging

He describes dating apps as ineffective for average-looking men. As an example, he cites a man who swiped right about 252 times out of 447 swipes on Tinder over a week and received eight matches. The speaker says some matches may ghost or be fake, and compares those results with his own better results after improving his appearance.

Personality can feel constrained

He says he felt judged for sharing interests such as reading, and believed women expected average-looking men to act in a conventional, “politically correct” way. He describes this as a catch-22: standing out may invite judgment, while fitting in can seem boring.

Friendships with men may depend more on being yourself

At university, he says he made a few genuine male friends by being more authentic, including around fraternity members. He contrasts this with friendships he viewed as superficial in high school.

Social circles may be important for dating

Because he believes dating apps offer poor results for average men, he argues that people more commonly meet potential partners through friends and wider social networks. He says a larger, active social circle can provide opportunities that someone with fewer connections may lack.

Workplace treatment may reflect appearance

He recounts starting a law-firm internship remotely and receiving neutral interactions, then noticing a change when he entered the office in person. He attributes this partly to height and appearance, and argues that attractiveness can influence attention and advancement. He also says tall people may earn more and attractive people can receive more favorable treatment.

Large parties can make you feel invisible

He recalls standing with men at a university party while women socialized elsewhere. He also describes a conversation in which a woman gradually disengaged. He says loud, crowded settings can favor looks over personality.

“Average” and “normie”

He defines “average” as lacking a distinctive physical trait. His examples include being neither tall nor short, neither balding nor notably full-haired, and having neither especially broad nor narrow shoulders.

He also uses “normie” to describe a mindset, not just appearance. In his view, normies take things at face value, dislike individualism, and tend to consume rather than create. He gives gaming as an example, criticizing changes in game design and people who respond to criticism by saying it “doesn’t matter.” He also recounts fraternity members responding skeptically when he mentioned having a YouTube channel.

The video is primarily personal commentary rather than practical lifestyle advice. Many of its claims about dating, appearance, and work are the speaker’s generalizations and anecdotes.

Notable locations, products, and speakers

• Locations: University, a fraternity house, a law-firm internship, and a party.
• Products and platforms: Tinder, video games, the Oblivion remaster, YouTube, and ChatGPT.
• Speakers and figures: The main narrator; a man featured in a Tinder-results experiment; and Jonathan Cahill, whose arrest photo appears in an unrelated closing news-style clip about his viral appearance.