I read a book on "godly masculinity" and it was honestly so funny

Summary

Dr. Ana reviews It’s Good to Be a Man by Pastor Michael Foster and Dominic “Non Tenant” (as rendered in the subtitles). She argues that the book promotes male authority and rigid gender roles through religious claims that are often unsupported by research or reasoning.

Absent Fathers and Family Courts

The book suggests that fathers are often separated from their children against their will. Ana counters with figures she attributes to Pew and other sources, saying that many fathers have visitation rights but do not use them, and that fathers relatively rarely contest custody in court. She argues that children’s outcomes depend more on stable, loving care—and on factors such as poverty and family conflict—than on having both a mother and a father.

Patriarchy and Leadership

The authors describe patriarchy as part of God’s intended order and men as made to rule. Ana argues that history does not support patriarchy as an unchanging human norm. She describes earlier societies as more egalitarian and says patriarchy became more established alongside farming, land ownership, inheritance, and warfare. She also cites research suggesting that women and men can have different leadership styles and that women can perform well in leadership roles.

Masculinity, Aggression, and Sex

Ana criticizes the book’s association of masculinity with aggression, dominion, and sexual drive. She argues that men are not bound to particular traits by their sex, and that kindness, empathy, and cooperation can also be masculine.

She questions the book’s religious explanations for sex drive and its claims that feminism or changing gender roles are responsible for social decline or lower testosterone. She points to other possible factors, including obesity, endocrine-disrupting chemicals, poor sleep, and stress.

Gender Roles and Androgyny

The book condemns androgyny and frames it as pagan. Ana argues that gender roles vary across cultures and can change quickly, so one society’s expectations should not be treated as universal or divinely ordained. She also explains that rejecting traits associated with another gender can produce shame rather than psychological integration.

Women’s Roles in Church

Ana challenges the book’s claims that women’s influence weakens churches and that women should be quiet, modest, and submissive. She highlights what she sees as a double standard: women are blamed both for being insufficiently restrained and for having too much influence, despite being underrepresented in religious leadership. She uses sarcasm to mock the idea of “female-specific” sins.

Fatherhood and Masculinity

The authors argue that boys need fathers to become men. Ana says research supports the importance of loving caregivers, not necessarily a household with both a mother and a father. She also notes that “manhood” is culturally defined and difficult to measure, while agreeing that supportive adult role models can be valuable.

Masculine Virtues and Relationships

Ana disputes the book’s claims that wisdom, strength, planning, building, and other virtues are exclusive to men. She also objects to describing women and men as success objects and sex objects, arguing that this reduces people to stereotypes.

She supports men building friendships and community but challenges the notion that men can form close friendships only with other men.

Points of Agreement

Ana finds some of the book’s practical advice potentially useful, including pursuing a life mission, overcoming anger through community, and finding supportive friendships. However, she rejects the authors’ broader explanations and gender ideology.

Conclusion

Ana concludes that the book relies on misinformation, logical fallacies, and religious arguments to justify concentrating power in men’s hands.

Presenters and Contributors

• Presenter: Dr. Ana Yudin
• Contributor: Her husband, a brief and unnamed on-camera contributor