El Porqué Odio a mi Madre

Summary

A person posts a long, anonymous confession explaining why they say they “hate” their mother—arguing that it’s not ordinary teenage rebellion, but the result of years of abuse, betrayal, and trauma that permanently shaped their life.

Early family stability that collapses

The narrator describes a modest but relatively calm childhood until their father repeatedly traveled for work and eventually provided less and less money. Their mother is portrayed as loving, attentive, and deeply devoted to him.

Father’s infidelity triggers the first major rupture

After the narrator’s mother begins working to cope with life, she and the family are rocked by a phone call: the father admits he has another daughter who is dying and implies they must tell the mother now. The narrator frames this as “betrayal,” after which the mother becomes shattered and reacts with extreme destructive behavior—destroying clothes, photos, and mementos.

Escalating abuse under the mother’s anger and alcoholism

Afterward, the narrator claims they suffer terrible beatings for “stupid reasons,” often linked to resembling the father. Over time, the beatings lessen, but the home deteriorates further:

• The mother’s drunkenness escalates, including episodes involving bodily fluids that the narrator says they had to clean up.
• She uses insults, threats, curses, and humiliations.
• The narrator describes her behavior as inconsistent—apologizing or acting normal the next day.

The narrator tries to cope but reaches a breaking point

Friends help the narrator reduce attention to their mother’s actions, and they develop survival strategies—ignoring her when drunk, staying in their room when threatened. However, the final straw comes when the mother becomes violently insulting during a drunken argument, including statements about wishing the narrator “didn’t exist” and blaming them for her misfortunes.

A threat and a near-violent moment

The narrator decides to leave for their paternal grandmother’s house. The mother begs them not to go, then—while drunk or pretending to be sober—threatens self-harm with a large kitchen knife:

“If you leave, I’ll kill myself.”

When the narrator continues leaving, the mother reportedly closes with more verbal abuse. The narrator says the mother makes a move involving the knife that triggers an internal rage response.

The narrator ultimately leaves without doing harm

The narrator describes going momentarily blank and moving involuntarily, then deciding not to commit violence. They throw the knife back, grab a suitcase, and escape into the night.

Aftermath: the mother dies by suicide

The narrator travels to the grandmother’s rural home. Days later, police arrive with bad news: the mother is dead, decomposing for days. The official cause is suicide based on the weapon being found in her hand. Authorities reportedly conclude she died from severe neck wounds after bleeding out.

Why the hatred persists even after death

The narrator insists they do not hate their mother for suicide itself. Instead, they say they hate her because her presence and memory become unavoidable. They link ongoing pain to trauma, guilt, medication/psychological suffering, and intrusive visions and sensory reminders (imagined sounds, images of her face and eyes). The core argument is that, despite loving her, the narrator’s life has been permanently damaged and they cannot escape her influence.

Presenters / Contributors

• Narrator / Confessor (anonymous author of the confession)