How to make small talk so fun, people want to keep talking to you

Small Talk as a Starting Point for Connection

Small talk isn’t something to avoid; it’s an entry point for getting to know someone. Instead of switching topics quickly or sticking to surface-level facts, use the opening topic to learn more about the person.

Key Strategies

• Treat small talk as an entry point. Start with an easy topic, then look for opportunities to explore what the other person shares.
• Go deeper instead of broader. Rather than jumping from work to hobbies to holidays, stay with one topic and ask follow-up questions that reveal more about the person.
• Add one more sentence.
  • When answering, include a little extra detail so the other person has something to respond to.
  • When asking questions, add a comment or reaction between them instead of firing off one question after another.
• Respond to the meaning behind someone’s words. Consider why they’re sharing something and how they might be feeling. For example, respond to someone’s exhaustion or sadness—not just the factual details.
• Share opinions, not just facts. Personal reactions make ordinary topics more engaging. Ask what someone likes or thinks, rather than focusing only on dates, frequency, or other details.
• Don’t force every conversation to become deep. If a topic isn’t going anywhere, move on naturally. A later topic may offer a better opportunity to connect.

Presenter/source: Tom Bidgood.