Why You, Me and the Entire Internet Has A.D.H.D. | 'The Opinions' Podcast

Summary

The conversation explores why ADHD and autism self-identification have become more common, especially online, and whether diagnostic labels help people understand themselves or risk narrowing how they see themselves.

Mary H.K. Choi describes receiving ADHD and later autism diagnoses in adulthood. The diagnoses helped her make sense of longstanding patterns—including social exhaustion, unusual spatial orientation, strong pattern recognition, and a nonlinear way of telling stories. They also brought sadness about expectations she had held for herself, alongside acceptance and relief.

Tressie McMillan Cottom explains that labels can help people describe their experiences, revise expectations, and find community. But labels can also create categories, judgments, and pressure to fit a particular idea of what is “normal.” The speakers caution that social media algorithms can encourage people to interpret common experiences as symptoms, particularly during periods of stress and isolation. They distinguish that trend from the real value a medical diagnosis can have, including access to treatment or accommodations.

The conversation also questions whether continually analyzing feelings can become a substitute for experiencing them. Choi says that, for her, it can sometimes be more helpful to sit with a feeling—such as sadness—without immediately explaining or trying to fix it. The guests also discuss how a diagnosis can give some people permission to treat themselves with more patience and kindness, while emphasizing that people should not need a medical label to deserve that consideration.

Key Wellness and Self-Care Takeaways

• Use labels as a starting point, not a complete definition. A diagnosis or identity term may help explain experiences, but it does not capture every part of a person or determine what they can do.
• Be cautious about self-diagnosing from social media. Short videos and algorithmic feeds can make broad, relatable traits seem diagnostic. The discussion recommends distinguishing online identification from a professional assessment.
• Notice the difference between understanding a feeling and experiencing it. Choi describes pausing to acknowledge a feeling—“It seems like you’re sad”—without immediately analyzing its cause or trying to cure it.
• Practice self-compassion without waiting for a diagnosis. Give yourself more time, patience, and flexibility. Avoid demanding perfection or treating ordinary difficulties as personal failures.
• Consider practical supports that fit your needs. Examples raised include skipping unwanted parties, wearing earplugs in loud places, and using routines or personal systems to manage daily life.
• Recognize that coping systems can be strengths. Choi found that some routines she had developed were effective and reflected abilities she valued.
• Allow for individual differences in development and support. The speakers note that children’s development is not always linear and question whether rigid school expectations can make differences harder to accommodate.

Presenters and Sources

Presenters

• Nadja Spiegelman — host
• Tressie McMillan Cottom — columnist and sociologist
• Mary H.K. Choi — author

Sources Discussed

• A Canadian study from British Columbia on adult ADHD diagnoses during the pandemic
• A study cited in the conversation reporting inaccuracies in popular ADHD and autism videos
• A survey cited in the conversation on mental-health self-diagnosis influenced by social media