How to Flirt with Girls

Summary

Amanda and Alison launch their dating series with advice on flirting in person. They emphasize that flirting styles and comfort levels differ, so their suggestions are starting points—not rules. The central principles are consent, confidence, and respect.

Approaching someone

• Gauge whether they’re open to conversation. In a casual setting, such as a coffee shop, look for mutual eye contact or a smile, or start with a low-pressure question. Headphones may signal that someone wants to be left alone, though people vary.
• Choose your approach thoughtfully. A bar or queer venue may be more oriented toward meeting people, while a coffee shop or climbing gym may call for a softer, less intrusive opening.
• Build from conversation into flirting gradually. If the person seems engaged, try eye contact or a personal compliment. For example, “You look great in that shirt” can feel more flirtatious than complimenting the shirt alone. If the interest seems mutual, introduce yourself or offer your number rather than asking for theirs, giving them the choice to follow up.
• Show confidence without applying pressure. A direct, genuine compliment can be an opening, but let the other person decide whether to continue. The hosts differ on gestures such as winking or lip-biting, noting that these may work for some people but feel awkward or uncomfortable to others.

Reading the interaction

Smiling, engaged conversation, reciprocal questions, sustained eye contact, open body language, and shared jokes may indicate interest, but no single cue proves it. Fidgeting or adjusting hair and clothes can mean different things, so consider the overall interaction.

Pay attention to the other person’s response. If they don’t engage, keep looking away, seem distracted, or appear uncomfortable, give them space. If they say no, take it at face value rather than assuming they are “playing hard to get.”

Handling rejection

Be prepared for rejection before approaching. It isn’t a verdict on your worth. If it happens, respond graciously, disengage, and take pride in having tried. The hosts suggest treating yourself afterward if that helps—but never taking disappointment out on the person who declined.

Queer dating

The hosts discuss how approaching someone can feel especially nerve-racking when their sexuality may not be apparent, including the fear of rejection or making someone uncomfortable. They encourage people not to rely on conventional gender roles about who should initiate: anyone can make the first move.

Rainbow or identity-related stickers, jewelry, clothing, haircuts, and the company someone keeps may offer clues about whether they’re queer. Phrases or cultural references can also serve as signals, but none of these are guarantees.

The hosts also encourage looking for qualities beyond chemistry, such as kindness, compassion, authenticity, attentiveness, and respect.

Other topics

As a brief aside, Alison says she is experiencing “cedar fever,” described as a strong reaction to cedar pollen in Texas. She mentions drinking tea and taking decongestants; an allergy shot is also mentioned as something people may get. This is background rather than medical advice.

In a short sapphic fact segment, the hosts discuss varying estimates of the number of children living in same-sex households and the increasing visibility of such families. They also note that Tammy Baldwin became the first openly gay person elected to the U.S. Senate in 2012.

Notable mentions

• Speakers: Amanda and Alison
• Locations: Genuine Joe’s coffee shop in Austin, Cheer Up Charlie’s, Meanwhile Brewing, Santa Barbara, Texas, and Washington
• Products and items: Tea, Claritin, decongestants, and an allergy shot
• Person: Tammy Baldwin