Things You Should NEVER Do If You Want a Japanese Girlfriend

Summary

The speaker shares dating “don’ts” that Japanese women (and Japanese people more broadly) may find unpleasant. The core theme is respecting Japanese social norms—especially personal space, indirect communication, and humility.

1) Don’t get too close (respect personal space)

• Keep a comfortable physical distance.
• Avoid rapid, intense closeness (e.g., approaching quickly, asking deep questions early, or pushing the pace).
• Minimize physical contact—Japanese people often don’t hug or shake hands frequently.

2) Avoid physical contact at first

• Don’t greet with a hug or cheek-kiss.
• Be cautious about small touches (e.g., brushing hands or touching someone’s shoulder during lunch), since many women may not be used to that.

3) Don’t assume a “Japanese girlfriend” stereotype

• Don’t treat Japanese women as automatically gentle, quiet, or obedient (common portrayals from anime, dramas, or internet stereotypes).
• The speaker notes that gender roles are changing and women may now take more leading roles than older expectations.

4) Don’t ignore indirect “no” signals (“don’t read the room”)

• Japanese communication can be indirect; excuses like “I’m a little busy” may mean refusal.
• If you’re repeatedly turned down, it likely means lack of interest—back off rather than persisting.
• Be considerate of the atmosphere and others’ feelings instead of pushing through.

5) Don’t be persistent after rejection

• Don’t repeatedly text/call or repeatedly ask for dates right away.
• If someone turns you down once (or a few times), give it time instead of increasing pressure.
• Avoid intense declarations early (e.g., strong compliments or “I love you” after only meeting once or twice).

6) Don’t brag

• Japanese culture values humility; boasting about money, status, or your physique can come off negatively.
• Share your strengths calmly and modestly, answering questions without trying to “sell yourself” too aggressively.

7) Don’t disrespect Japan (don’t impose your culture)

• If something is acceptable in your home country but taboo in Japan, don’t act as if your norms should override theirs.
• The speaker also shares a personal story about dating a foreigner who tried to push Christianity/religious practices on her, which caused misunderstanding and didn’t work out.
• Recommendation: compromise and discuss big issues rather than unilaterally imposing beliefs.

Closing note

• The speaker clarifies these are general tendencies, not rules for every Japanese woman.
• They mention that some behaviors often seen as gentlemanly abroad (like opening doors or pulling out chairs) may be less common in Japan and could be positively received.

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Notable locations/products/speakers

• Speaker: A Japanese woman giving general dating advice (no specific name provided).
• Locations referenced: Japan; “overseas” / dating abroad (no specific countries named).
• Cultural/religious references: Christianity; Buddhism; “New Party” (mentioned as a major religion/political-cultural reference in the speaker’s story).