Recupera tu mente, reconquista tu vida | Marian Rojas-Estapé, psiquiatra y escritora

Summary

Psychiatrist and writer Marian Rojas-Estapé argues that constant stimulation, stress, and screen use can pull people away from real-life connection, reflection, and the small experiences that support wellbeing. Her central message is to understand your own patterns, protect your attention and relationships, and make room for a more present, meaningful life.

Key wellness and self-care strategies

• Get to know yourself: Notice your typical personality traits, how stress changes your behavior, what triggers your alert response, and how stress affects your body and mood. Identify fears, unresolved wounds, and family patterns that may shape your choices.
• Build a kinder inner voice: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, especially before challenging situations. Rojas-Estapé says negative self-talk can undermine confidence and clear thinking, while optimism can be cultivated by noticing opportunities and taking practical steps toward goals.
• Accept that you cannot do everything: Reassess priorities regularly, choose what matters most, and let go of some commitments without guilt. Treat attention and energy as limited resources; exhaustion can make it harder to be patient, connect with others, and make healthy choices.
• Make time for genuine connection: Invest in trusted relationships, affection, and shared experiences. In parenting, adapt to each child’s needs and look for natural opportunities to talk, such as during an activity or at bedtime.
• Practice being present: Slow down and give ordinary experiences your attention. She recommends contemplation, gratitude, deep breathing, time in nature, music, reading, hands-on activities, and moments of doing nothing without guilt.
• Reduce automatic screen use: Notice when you turn to social media or other quick distractions to escape stress or boredom. Consider turning off notifications and using airplane mode at times so you can focus and tolerate quiet.
• Let difficult thoughts pass: When memories or worries intrude during a good moment, acknowledge them without letting them take over. Return your attention to what is happening now, and address the issue later if it remains important.
• Strengthen relationships deliberately: In romantic relationships, she recommends communicating feelings clearly, learning how each person expresses affection, remembering what matters to the other, sharing enjoyable experiences, making room for humor and intimacy, and being willing to apologize and forgive.
• Set boundaries with people who distress you: Identify who or what puts you on alert. Where possible, create distance, limit what you share, set boundaries, and avoid difficult interactions when depleted. If a relationship continues to cause harm, consider stepping away.
• Build tolerance for discomfort: Rather than immediately reaching for a distraction or reward, try waiting briefly when an impulse arises—for example, delaying phone use or a snack. She presents small, voluntary “micro-doses” of discomfort as a way to practice self-control.
• Choose meaningful activities and routines: She recommends reducing time spent on highly absorbing habits when they are taking over, and finding activities that create a state of “flow”—engaging, appropriately challenging pursuits such as painting, gardening, cooking, or writing.
• Seek professional help when needed: If distress, anxiety, low mood, or other symptoms persist or feel unmanageable, she advises consulting a professional. She emphasizes that meaningful psychological change takes time and that mental and physical wellbeing are connected.
• Reflect on purpose: Ask what gives life meaning and how you can improve your own life and the lives of others. She cautions against relying on constant stimulation to fill a sense of emptiness.

Presenters, participants, and sources mentioned

• Presenter: Marian Rojas-Estapé.
• Audience questioners: Isabel, Cecilia, David, María, Juan Carlos, Virginia, and Ricardo.
• Program: BBVA’s Aprendemos Juntos.
• People and sources she mentions: Ramón y Cajal; Helen Fisher; Cameron Sepah; Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (the subtitles render the name as “Mikili”); Einstein; Don Quixote; and Rojas-Estapé’s father, whose name is not given. She also refers to studies at Harvard University.