Get comfortable with being uncomfortable | Luvvie Ajayi Jones | TED

Overview

Luvvie Ajayi Jones frames “being uncomfortable” as a chosen practice for personal integrity and social change—arguing that fear, comfort, and silence are what keep harmful systems in place. She shares her own journey from fear to action, then offers practical mental check-ins for speaking up, plus community-focused wellness and support ideas.

Key wellness + self-care mindset strategies

• Don’t let fear run your life—use it as a signal to act anyway. She describes shifting from being ruled by fear to actively pursuing what scares her (“Do it anyway”), after realizing fear can concretely block purpose.

• Replace “comfort” with “purpose.” Being quiet and keeping things the same can feel good short-term, but it maintains the status quo. She treats discomfort as part of doing the right thing.

• Link integrity to action. Honesty, justice, and personal values (including a humorous reference to “shea butter”) motivate her to tell the truth despite consequences.

Productivity / action framework: “Being the domino”

Jones emphasizes that real change starts with the first person taking the risk:

• Be the first domino: speak up early, take the hit others are afraid to take, and inspire the next person to follow.
• Do hard things when they’re needed: difficulty isn’t a reason to stop—it’s often an indicator that the moment matters.
• Use your power in rooms (even if you’re not #1):
  • Make space for others who can’t get a word in.
  • “Cosign” contributions—support people so they can be heard.

Practical “truth-telling” checklist (her decision method)

When she needs to speak hard truths, she asks herself three questions:

• Did you mean it?
• Can you defend it?
• Did you say it with love?

If the answer is yes to all three, she speaks—and “lets the chips fall.”

Community/self-care as “help each other” (wellness through support)

• Everyone’s well-being is community business.
• Build a help network intentionally, so people don’t have to struggle alone when they need support.
• Her examples show how speaking up can start conversations that lead to broader care (e.g., pay equity, mental health, sexual assault awareness).

Examples of “domino moments” she describes

• Speaking up about pay inequality at a conference: she risked financial loss by going public; it sparked others to share similar experiences and opened discussion of discriminatory pay practices.
• Publishing despite career risk: she describes writing about a powerful public figure after reading a disturbing memoir; the post helped kick off conversations about mental health and self-care.
• Amplifying survivor accounts (“Me Too”): she credits Tarana Burke for igniting the movement.

Presenters / Sources

• Presenter: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
• Referenced source: Tarana Burke (credited for igniting the Me Too movement)