Let the Psalms Teach You to Pray

Summary

Tim Keller presents the Psalms as the Bible’s prayer book: they teach people how to address God through every kind of human circumstance. He focuses on Psalm 25:14, which describes the Lord’s “friendship” with those who fear him. The Hebrew word translated as “friendship” can also mean intimate counsel or a confidence shared between close friends.

Keller argues that prayer is not only a way to ask God for things; it is a means of growing in friendship with God. That friendship combines intimacy with reverence, obedience, and commitment. He contrasts it with a shallow idea of spirituality that seeks a sense of divine connection while avoiding discipleship or the obligations of religious community.

Why Friendship with God Is Possible

• The Trinity: God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, existing in loving relationship from eternity. Love and relationship are therefore central to God’s nature, not something that began only after creation.
• Humanity’s creation: People are made in God’s image. Keller says this helps explain why relationships matter so deeply to human beings.
• The history of redemption: In the incarnation, Jesus became human; on the cross, he gave his life for his friends. Jesus shares human life and suffering, making it possible for people to look to him and say, in effect, “You too.”

Keller contrasts this with Aristotle’s view that friendship with a god is impossible because humans and God have too little in common. He argues that Christian teaching makes such friendship possible through God’s triune nature, humanity’s creation in God’s image, and Jesus’ incarnation and atoning death.

Five Ways to Cultivate Friendship with God

1. Practice obedience.

   • Jesus says, “If you do what I command you, you are my friends” (John 15:14).
   • Obedience helps people become more like God, as friends can shape and influence one another.
   • It also means taking God as he is, rather than treating him as though he were simply a human companion who should conform to one’s preferences.
   • Keller warns that religious activity or worship cannot substitute for obedience.

2. Rely on justification by faith alone.

   • Friendship with God cannot rest on trying to earn benefits through good behavior. That would make the relationship fundamentally transactional, like an employee’s relationship with an employer.
   • Keller says people must understand that salvation is a gift grounded in what Jesus did, not something earned by moral effort.
   • With that assurance, God’s law can be received as a way to learn what a loved friend values—not as a means of bargaining for acceptance.
   • Jesus’ teaching, especially the Sermon on the Mount, reveals the depth of God’s law and the need for Christ’s fulfillment of it.

3. Let prayer be a two-way exchange shaped by Scripture.

   • Friendship requires both speaking and listening. Keller cautions against treating strong inner impressions as certain messages from God.
   • He points instead to the Bible as the reliable place where God speaks. Prayer should respond to what Scripture says, rather than being driven only by personal feelings or desires.
   • Psalm 1, though not itself a prayer, serves as a gateway to the Psalms by emphasizing meditation on God’s law.
   • Keller draws on Eugene Peterson’s point that biblical prayer is not primarily self-expression; it is learning to answer the God who has revealed himself.

4. Seek and sometimes experience God’s presence.

   • The Psalms use sensory language such as seeking God’s face, gazing on his beauty, thirsting for him, and tasting that he is good.
   • Keller distinguishes knowing a truth intellectually from having it affect the heart—for example, not just knowing that God is loving, but experiencing that love in a way that changes how one lives.
   • He describes meditation as a progression: fix the truth in the mind, direct the heart and affections toward it, and sometimes experience its sweetness and transforming effect.
   • Such experiences cannot be controlled or demanded, but they may accompany prayer and meditation.

5. Meditate on Jesus’ death as the supreme act of friendship.

   • Keller uses Derek Kidner’s description of friendship as involving candor (openness and vulnerability) and constancy (commitment and faithfulness).
   • On the cross, Jesus made himself vulnerable and remained faithful despite betrayal, rejection, and suffering.
   • Keller urges listeners to reflect on this as the ultimate expression of a friend who lets people in and does not abandon them.
   • He concludes that Christ’s love can overturn the conflicting judgments people receive from others and provide a secure basis for understanding who they are.

Keller closes with a prayer thanking God for making friendship with him possible and asking for help to become God’s friend through prayer and to experience his presence.

Speakers and Sources Featured

• Tim Keller — the speaker.
• The Bible — especially Psalm 25:14, Exodus 33:11, James 2:23, John 15:14, Psalm 66:18, Psalm 1, Psalm 27, Psalm 63, Hebrews 4:12, and the Sermon on the Mount.
• Aristotle — cited on the supposed impossibility of friendship between humans and God.
• C. S. Lewis — cited on the nature of friendship in The Four Loves.
• Augustine — cited on the Trinity, love, and God’s nature.
• Eugene Peterson — quoted on the Psalms, Scripture, and prayer as a response to God.
• Jonathan Edwards — cited on the difference between intellectually knowing a truth and sensing it in the heart.
• John Owen — quoted on stages of meditation and its spiritual effects.
• Derek Kidner — cited for describing friendship in terms of candor and constancy.
• Elizabeth Elliot — credited with the anecdote about a boy, his piano practice, and obedience.
• David Martyn Lloyd-Jones — cited in connection with the Sermon on the Mount.
• George Whitefield — mentioned in an anecdote about mistaking paternal pride for divine prompting.
• Charles Spurgeon — cited in connection with Jesus remaining on the cross amid rejection.
• The film Bride of Frankenstein — referenced through its scene of the monster seeking a friend.