Every Problem You Have Points To Where You're Disconnected

Summary

Joe Hudson argues that many personal, relationship, and workplace problems reflect some form of disconnection—from yourself, other people, or something larger than yourself. Reconnecting may not instantly solve every practical issue, but it can make problems feel less overwhelming and help solutions become clearer.

He first noticed this while parenting: when his daughters felt connected, difficulties were easier to manage; when they felt disconnected, strong emotions and conflict followed. He later saw similar patterns among company teams and boards. In his own life, he began asking what would help him feel more connected whenever he faced a problem or an important decision.

Strategies and Techniques

• Use disconnection as a clue. When a problem arises, ask what relationship or part of yourself may feel disconnected.
• Ask a connection-focused question. Consider: “What would help me feel more connected here?” Connection might be to yourself, another person, or something larger, such as nature or community.
• Use connection when making decisions. When uncertain, ask what choice you would feel proud of.
• Reconnect before trying to solve the problem. Bring to mind a moment when you felt deeply connected—perhaps in nature or during an intimate experience—then return to the problem. Hudson suggests this can soften its emotional intensity and sometimes reveal a way forward.
• Look for the relevant connection. Ask whether addressing the issue means reconnecting with a particular person, your emotions, yourself, or another part of your life.
• Approach communication with vulnerability, impartiality, empathy, and wonder. Hudson describes these as helpful qualities for listening, difficult conversations, and problem-solving.
• Try curiosity instead of forcing an answer. Spend time noticing and exploring a problem with wonder rather than immediately arguing over solutions. Hudson says this can help insights emerge.
• Practice through real conversations. Hudson emphasizes learning connection by experimenting and talking with others, rather than relying only on theory or communication techniques.

Presenter and Sources

• Presenter: Joe Hudson
• Sources mentioned: Listen; Hand in Hand Parenting by Connection