ADHD Expert: Why You Can’t “Just Start”

Summary

Clinical psychologist Michaela Thomas explains that ADHD-related procrastination is often not laziness. Starting tasks can be difficult because of executive-function challenges, low interest, overwhelm, uncertainty, or fear of failure. ADHD motivation may respond more readily to novelty, challenge, enjoyment, or urgency—but relying on last-minute adrenaline can be stressful.

Perfectionism can contribute to procrastination when someone avoids a task because they fear doing it badly, being judged, or falling short of their own standards. It can also drive overwork and burnout. Thomas emphasizes that perfectionism and procrastination overlap, but neither automatically causes the other. People can struggle with starting, continuing, or finishing for different reasons.

Strategies and techniques

• Notice what is underneath the delay. Identify whether the barrier is fear, overwhelm, unclear instructions, or not knowing the first step. Thomas describes this as observing patterns in thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and behavior.
• Use compassionate self-talk. Instead of calling yourself lazy, try “No wonder this feels hard.” Acknowledge the difficulty without expecting self-criticism to disappear overnight.
• Break tasks into very small steps. Thomas compares turning an overwhelming “iceberg” into ice cubes—or even crushed ice. Opening a laptop or taking one item out of a suitcase can count as a start.
• Make tasks more engaging. Try “gamifying” a chore, such as doing as much as you can during one favorite song, to make it more interesting and less dependent on stress or deadlines.
• Make the invisible workload visible. If you are stuck, tell a partner or trusted person what is happening and ask to talk it through. Naming the paralysis and asking for a brief sounding board can reduce isolation and conflict.
• Ask for clarification when needed. Uncertainty about what a task requires can fuel avoidance. Getting help to define the task may make it more manageable.
• Check your energy and pace yourself. Thomas uses “sloth mode” as a reminder to slow down and recover intentionally rather than pushing until exhaustion. A weighted cuddly toy is one personal, grounding reminder she uses.
• Adjust activity to your capacity. Notice whether you need to gently increase your energy with something stimulating, such as upbeat music, or reduce it by resting. Capacity may vary from day to day.
• Plan recovery after demanding work. Thomas recommends balancing a high-effort day with a lighter one when possible, and taking breaks before reaching burnout.
• Use practical reminders. The host mentions timers and the Tiimo app to help remember chores such as emptying the washing machine.
• Consider appropriate support. Thomas says compassion-focused therapy or acceptance and commitment therapy may be helpful when shame and self-criticism are prominent. For concerns about possible OCD or significant distress, she recommends consulting a doctor or therapist.

Emotional systems, perfectionism, and burnout

Thomas describes three emotional systems from compassion-focused therapy:

• Threat: protection and danger response
• Drive: motivation and excitement
• Soothing: calm and recovery

When achievement is driven mainly by fear or shame, it may encourage overwork and burnout. Making room for soothing and recovery can support a more sustainable approach.

Thomas notes that perfectionism can take a physical and emotional toll, including exhaustion, anxiety, low mood, and difficulty resting. Burnout may appear as severe exhaustion and inability to function, or as continuing to meet responsibilities while feeling persistently anxious and depleted. Her advice is to pause and care for yourself before reaching a crisis point.

The episode closes with a letter to a younger self: keep being kind and helpful, but remember to care for your own wellbeing and emotions too.

Presenters and sources

• Michaela Thomas — clinical psychologist and guest
• ADHD Chatter Podcast host — interviewer; not named in the subtitles
• Tiimo — sponsor mentioned in the episode; planning app discussed in the advertisement