WE MOVED TO GERMANY... 6 Months Later (Honest Update)

6-month honest update: US → Munich (Germany)

Overall settling in

• Ben (American; first time living abroad) and Fe Lee (born/raised in Munich) describe the move as a major learning process.
• Rough days happen, but they feel supported by family and close friends.
• Germans are described as “loyal” and helpful when someone is struggling.
• The biggest remaining barrier to feeling fully integrated is German, especially:
  • understanding everyday conversations
  • and getting jokes/small talk in real time.

Language + integration (key insight)

Even when someone can speak English and communicate, fluency arrives when they can:

• handle the quick rhythm of conversation
• understand jokes immediately
• respond without the delay of searching for words

Ben also notes he jokes less smoothly due to slang—and sometimes it takes others a few seconds to realize it’s humor.

Home routine and psychological “base”

Fe Lee says Munich feels less like a long visit because they have:

• their own place (not staying with parents)
• their cats, where the cats = “home”
• regular stores/places/routines that formed quickly

Ben feels like he’s living there “again,” not just visiting, though he notices his “old German personality” returning in certain ways.

Personal identity + relationship impact

• Ben says environment and language can shift personality (something he and Fe Lee had discussed beforehand about “different personalities in different languages/places”).
• He’s working to balance an “American personality” with a “German one.”
• Having Fe Lee with him helps him stay grounded:
  • she acts as an “anchor”
  • they can speak English at home
  • he doesn’t have to build his entire social life from scratch immediately

They both feel the relationship has not been negatively damaged by the move. If anything, it strengthened the idea that they can build a home anywhere.

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Culture shock + practical adjustment tips

Biggest culture shock (Ben)

• The speed of adapting to public transportation and the bike/walking culture
• He went from not wanting a car to appreciating how many ways there are to get around

Transportation examples (Munich)

• S-Bahn / U-Bahn
• biking

• Miles car sharing Includes:

  • cars parked around the city
  • app unlock
  • leaving wherever allowed
  • vans are available for moving furniture

Not fully adjusted (parking rule)

• Parkscheibe: a parking disc placed on the dashboard showing arrival time
• They got a ticket once for misusing it—learning point: use it only when required and check what the sign/spot indicates.

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Moving decisions + immigration/work context

Will they stay in Germany?

• Current plan: stay another year after this one (not fully signed yet, but the plan is another year).
• They’re avoiding moving again too soon because:
  • the first half year was intense (Oktoberfest → Christmas events → group trips → New Year’s → house setup → bureaucracy)
  • and they’re finally feeling settled

Ben’s work permit

• He expected it to be shorter, but it was granted for 4 years
• They’re also considering longer stays since it may connect to later options (e.g., potential citizenship timeline)

Citizenship misconceptions

• Marriage does not automatically make Ben a German citizen.
• General pathway mentioned:
  • typically 5 years legal residence + requirements (including language test and citizenship test)
  • if married to a German citizen and married at least 2 years, the residence requirement can reduce to 3 years

Kids and dual citizenship

• They state their children will have dual citizenship (US + Germany) automatically, regardless of where the child is born.
• They’re aiming for a bilingual upbringing.

US citizenship

• They do not plan to renounce US citizenship.

Sponsored/partnered help

• They promoted Athena Genealogy for people with German ancestry who want help checking eligibility for German citizenship by descent, including:
  • document retrieval
  • translations
  • paperwork support

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Health / mental wellbeing themes (indirect but recurring)

Seasonal mood reality

• Winters are similar in temperature to Cincinnati, but Munich feels harder due to early darkness (around 4:00 pm).
• They mention seasonal depression as a real factor and reference how far north Germany gets (Munich vs US latitude differences).

Coping through seasonal experiences

• Christmas markets and winter trips made winter more bearable
• Spring is celebrated strongly:
  • brighter light lasts longer after the time change
  • people get outside quickly

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Food highlights + comfort foods

German comfort foods Ben likes

• Schweinshaxe (pork knuckle; he’s a big meat/potato fan)
• Schnitzel
  • Ben cooks chicken schnitzel at home often
  • eating out, he usually chooses pork / Wiener Art
  • he avoids veal for ethical reasons (so no veal)

Dessert mention

• Schmand Nante / “Schmand Mante” (described as hazelnut pudding) — still a favorite

Seasonal eating

• Germans emphasize seasonal products more than US grocery habits
• They’re surprised some foods aren’t available out of season (example discussed: certain wedding/food items not in season)

Asparagus

• They’re impressed by white asparagus

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Travel + upcoming trip ideas

Recent trips (after arriving)

• Christmas group trip(s):
  • Salzburg, Vienna, Berlin, Dresden, Prague, Karlovy Vary (Czech Republic)
• Strasbourg (February)
• Heidelberg (March)
• US visit (a trip back to a familiar place, recorded separately)

Upcoming group trips

• Rothenburg ob der Tauber (repeat; excited to go back)
• Würzburg (first time)
• Cologne (first time)

Family wedding + additional travel

• Wedding with Fe Lee’s family in June
• Planning a post-wedding trip in Italy (likely Venice and Rome, plus stops)
• Considering Greece in September (if schedule allows)

City travel wishlist

Amsterdam, Budapest (including Hungarian Parliament / Országház), Paris, London, Portugal, plus other places they’ve long wanted to experience

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Social life + friends

• Ben says his Munich friend circle largely formed through Fe Lee and her friends.
• He mentions acquaintances exist, but they haven’t had much capacity to expand the circle because they’ve been busy with:
  • old friends
  • visiting Americans/others
  • wedding and travel plans
• They joke that their schedule has been a form of “Freizeitstress” (free-time stress).

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Sports culture

• Ben becomes an FC Bayern fan (even though he previously supported Real Madrid, after starting soccer through FIFA).
• He attended/experienced Bayern’s match culture and now enjoys the atmosphere in Munich.
• He specifically notes the emotional shift after Bayern played Real Madrid in the Champions League—he rooted for Bayern.

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Notable locations, products, and speakers mentioned

Locations

• Cincinnati (Ohio), Munich, Bavaria
• Strasbourg, Heidelberg
• Salzburg, Vienna, Berlin, Dresden, Prague
• Karlovy Vary (Czech Republic)
• Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Würzburg, Cologne
• Venice, Rome (Italy), Greece
• Amsterdam, Budapest (Országház)
• Paris, London
• Norway (Oslo)

Products/brands

• Miles car sharing
• Parkscheibe parking disc

Teams/venues

• FC Bayern
• Real Madrid
• Champions League context

Partner/speaker mentioned

• Athena Genealogy (German-citizenship-by-descent help service)

Other references

• “Understanding Train Station” podcast (and “Josh”)