Нарциссизм. Формирование. Терапия.

Summary

Psychologist Alexander Matyash discusses whether narcissistic personality disorder can be treated. He argues that it can, though therapy may be difficult and requires sustained effort from both the client and therapist.

He describes narcissism as a painful contradiction: a person may appear grandiose and dismissive of others while depending heavily on their approval. In his account, this pattern can develop in childhood when a parent values a child mainly for meeting the parent’s expectations while rejecting or belittling the child’s genuine feelings and wishes. The child may adapt by building an idealized identity and hiding their authentic self.

Matyash says this can leave a person highly sensitive to criticism, dissatisfied even when admired, and prone to conflict, anxiety, depression, or psychosomatic symptoms. Therapy can be hard to continue because self-examination may feel humiliating or threatening, and clients may be tempted to leave when their usual defenses are challenged.

Therapeutic strategies discussed

• Look inward at sources of distress: Therapy helps the client consider how their own patterns—not only other people or circumstances—contribute to recurring problems.
• Notice and experience difficult feelings: A first task is to stop fleeing from uncomfortable emotions, become aware of them, and gradually accept and work through them.
• Explore what lies beneath defenses: The therapist helps identify fears beneath devaluation and the desire for admiration or idealization.
• Work patiently through defenses and old pain: Progress may involve gradually uncovering feelings formed in childhood while accounting for defenses such as submission, grandiosity, idealization, attachment, and devaluation.
• Maintain a careful therapeutic relationship: Matyash emphasizes the therapist’s attentiveness, empathy, and ability to distinguish a person’s symptoms from their whole personality, especially when resistance is strong.
• Build genuine connection: He presents recovery as developing interest in other people, recognizing their reality, and learning both to give and receive love.
• Reconnect with one’s own needs: A healthier life, in his description, involves greater attention to one’s true feelings and desires rather than relying primarily on others’ judgments.

Matyash concludes that working through childhood fears and emotional pain can help a person move toward a fuller adult life, with more authentic relationships and less dependence on admiration.

Presenter/source: Psychologist Alexander Matyash.