10 Things Parents Should Never Do (& What To Do To Build Confidence)

Key Wellness, Self-Care, and Parenting Strategies Highlighted

Bonding beats distraction

Research-backed point: when parents are frequently distracted (devices/work/own life), kids act out to get attention. Strategy: prioritize presence and connection.

Daily “special time” (20 minutes/day)

Spend 20 minutes a day doing what the child wants. During this time, keep it simple: no commands, no questions, no directions—just time.

Use play and time-with-you to open communication

When kids feel pressure, they shut down; when they feel safe, they open up. Tactics mentioned:

• Playing cards / drawing / silly games
• Morning drives plus coffee/tea as a low-pressure way for teens/friends to talk

Model brain health and healthy habits

Teach kids to care for their brain by modeling it—because “no school manual teaches this.” A simple approach: “Is it good for your brain or bad for it?” (“tiny habits”).

Teach “tiny habits” via quick feedback

Inspired by the “tiny habits” methodology:

• Ask: “Whatever I’m doing right now—good for my brain or bad for it?”

Example: “orange juice” can spike blood sugar, which may contribute to energy/impulsivity crashes.

Practice active listening (don’t lecture)

Use a listening technique of responding with what you heard—not what you think. Principle: feeling heard increases bonding; feeling lectured reduces it.

Stop constant rescuing—allow mistakes to build competence

Don’t “save” kids from consequences. Allow cheap mistakes when young so kids build an internal moral compass and decision-making skills.

Coach instead of manage/control everything

Parents still supervise, but “orchestrate from behind” rather than micromanage. Framing:

• You don’t control the child—you control what you do (your boundaries, choices, logistics).

Example: with homework, the parent stops turning it into a fight and lets consequences teach the lesson.

Give kids responsibility (chores/work) to build self-esteem

Too much doing for kids can steal their self-esteem. Recommended approach:

• Give chores and/or a job
• Give boredom back to the child as a problem to solve (with supervision)

Model healthy behavior (kids copy what you do)

“Kids do what you do, not what you tell them.” Health-related habits are framed as a core parenting tool.

Keep empathy by remembering what being their age was like

Don’t forget your own earlier challenges/embarrassments. Use age-trigger empathy to better support teens.

Praise effort/work, not “being smart”

“You’re smart” can backfire when kids hit something hard—they may assume they can’t handle it. Better: praise working hard and developing skills/work ethic.

Reduce criticism; increase noticing what’s right

Constant focus on mistakes and minimal praise can damage self-esteem and relationships. Analogy: “Fat Freddy” training—animals (and kids) learn through noticing and reinforcing what they do right.

Parent with a clear goal: be firm and kind

Takeaway emphasized: raise competent, loving humans—not to be their best friend.

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Presenters or Sources

Presenters (speakers in the subtitles)

• Dr. Amon (Docor Amon) — mentioned as an Instagram handle: “docorAmon”
• Tana Amon (Tana Amon) — mentioned as an Instagram/DM handle: “Tana Amon”

Referenced authors/experts

• BJ Fogg (Persuasive Technology Lab, Stanford) — “tiny habits” concept
• Charles Fay — Love and Logic Institute (Love and Logic parenting)
• Richard Gutman / John Gottman — referenced via “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” / divorce prediction (as stated in subtitles)
• Nurture Shock — book referenced (no author named in subtitles)
• Daniel Plan — mentioned (no individual author named in subtitles)

Referenced organizations/clinics (for context in subtitles)

• Aman Clinics (amanclinics.com) — mentioned in an ad segment