Aku Mau Buktikan, Tuhan Tidak Ada

Summary of the Video

The podcast episode centers on a personal testimony about moving from doubt and multiple religious explorations toward Christianity—framed as a “180-degree turn” from trying to disprove God to ultimately believing and being baptized.

1. Initial Motive: Trying to Prove God Doesn’t Exist

• The guest, Katherin, says her early interest in studying religion began with a desire to “prove God doesn’t exist.”
• Her background added to her confusion: both parents followed different religions, leaving her unsure which religion was “right” and who she was meant to believe in.
• She reports an early pattern she found unsettling (starting in elementary school): people appeared different in church than they were outside it. This led her to think churchgoing Christians were hypocritical.

2. Religious Progression Through Doubt

• She describes a progression of beliefs: agnostic → atheist → satanist (as an exploration phase).
• This shift was especially tied to the junior high to high school period, when she felt she needed to “find identity.”
• Even though she was listed as Christian on her ID, she felt internally misaligned and began searching other religions too—testing several (3–4), including Christianity again.

3. Bible Study Changes Her Perspective

• She joined a Bible study with skepticism and a mindset of trying to “prove Christianity wrong.”
• She expected arguments that would show Christianity was false (or that other religions were more correct), but her perspective shifted as she noticed all religions teach goodness.
• She realized Christianity’s distinct emphasis for her wasn’t only moral teaching—it was “truth.”
• A major turning factor was how church members treated her: she initially saw them as enemies, yet they continued to show kindness and love.

4. Core “Evidence”: Love, Faith, and Perseverance from Believers

• She emphasizes that what convinced her wasn’t only knowledge, but the experience of being loved—including moments beyond formal teaching.
• She says believers didn’t merely tolerate her flaws; they confronted her weaknesses gently and encouraged her growth.
• She connects this to 1 Corinthians 13: love above all, with faith and hope shaping a choice toward love.

5. Decision: Belief Leading to Baptism

• After studying, she says her goal changed: she moved from “disprove” to accepting Christianity as true.
• She felt compelled to “speak out” and eventually was baptized.
• She frames the transformation as a collaboration between logic and feelings, where lived experience reshaped her heart—not just arguments.

6. Ongoing Spiritual Journey and Trials After Baptism

• She shares that baptism was not easy because her parents separated around that time.
• Later, she moved to Bandung for college, struggled to adapt, and then faced intense job pressure—many applications and repeated failures.
• She recounts a moment where she seemed to receive acceptance, only for a quick reversal message to follow. She describes grief, prayer, and realizing she had relied too much on her own strength.
• Through prayer, remembering the Word, and community support, she eventually found work—described as God working beyond human logic.

7. Role of Community and the Word

She credits:

• God’s Word (she mentions 1 Corinthians 13:2 as a key verse that reframed her)
• Church community support, including job leads and practical help like improving her CV

She describes the community as:

a “container for reminders” and “fight together”

People help each other without expecting repayment, motivated by love.

8. Current Life and Message to Teens

• She says she now works in multiple roles (main job in PR and side work in events) and sees it as an answer to her prayers.
• Her message to teenagers who feel confused includes:
  • Feeling unsure is normal.
  • “Remember your roots.”
  • Return to the Word, seek help, and don’t try to handle everything alone.
  • Avoid the same “trap” path she believes she went through (agnostic → atheist → satanist as experimentation), and instead stay grounded in God’s love.

---

Presenters / Contributors

• Rebeka Cleirin (host)
• Katherin (guest / main storyteller)