10 Ways to Use Body Language to Get What You Want (Web Exclusive)

Key Strategies from the Video (Body Language to Get What You Want)

1) Use the elbow pop + relaxed “confident but likable” posture

• Sit at an angle and pop your elbow back (relaxed posture, not stiff “upright” posture).
• Goal: Signal confidence and increase your chances of getting what you want.

2) Try the “Steve Jobs chin hold” for high-stakes moments

• Hold your chin in a way that makes you look smarter and more composed.
• Use it especially in tense situations, such as:
  • Responding to requests
  • Rescheduling
  • Negotiations
• Goal: Increase perceived confidence (and you may start to feel confident too).

3) Use a steeple carefully (confidence/authority, but don’t overdo it)

• Examples referenced: Oprah Winfrey and Donald Trump.
• Timing matters:
  • Use it during moments that build perceived value/competence.
  • Avoid using it in a way that reads as arrogance—especially early in rapport-building.

4) Modify the steeple for passion (the “Obama” style)

• Take the traditional steeple and “explode” it with heart/passion.
• Goal: Confidence + warmth, not just authority.

5) Avoid a “wall” with your legs—use a close circle

• Don’t sit with legs positioned to block or turn away.
• Instead:
  • Cross in a way that angles toward the other person.
• Goal: Signal “you are important to me,” increasing trust and influence.

6) Use palm orientation to match your message

• Palm-up gestures: signal openness (e.g., “I’m giving you what I have / showing my hands”).
• Palm-down gestures: read as more directive/aggressive.
• Goal: Align your body language with “I’m approachable / I’m listening” to build rapport.

7) Replace “pacifiers” (nervous habits) with a quick reset

• Nervous habits described:
  • Touching face/neck/throat when stressed
  • Playing with hair/collar/objects (especially noted with women)
• Quick technique:
  • Toe pushups inside your shoes: scrunch/toe-engage rapidly (not visibly, because toes are inside shoes).
• Goal: Reduce nervous energy so you’re perceived as qualified and confident.

8) Keep “power zones” open—don’t hold yourself like you’re trapped

• Power zones mentioned:
  • Neck dimple
  • Belly button
  • “nauy bits” (interpreted as groin/low torso area)
• Rule of thumb:
  • The higher your hand/wrist/elbow hold, the more anxious/insecure it looks.
• If you want to hold your hands together:
  • Do it behind your back to keep zones open.
• Goal: Signal nothing to hide and increase perceived value.

9) Stand with enough space—avoid “pushover” positioning

• Too-narrow stance (described as “short fat candle”):
  • Feet too close (< about 6 inches apart) can read as yielding/submissive.
• Wider but structured stance (“tall skinny candle”):
  • Reads as dependable but also harder to push over.
• Goal: Influence how people judge pricing, reliability, and assertiveness.

10) In emotional/stressful conversations, use “body leveraging” (the Superman)

• Instead of challenging or looming, lower your body and sit/look up.
• Approach examples:
  • When someone shares serious news (family illness, diagnosis)
  • With devastated teens/heartbreak—get lower and show care
• Goal: Communicate “you matter,” increase trust, and improve outcomes (“more wins in life”).

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Presenters or Sources

• Anderson Cooper (referenced as a source of specific body-language moves)
• Steve Jobs (referenced for “chin hold”)
• Oprah Winfrey (referenced for steeple/authority use)
• Donald Trump (referenced for steeple/authority use)
• Barack Obama (referenced for the steeple-with-passion variation)
• Adolf Hitler (referenced only in relation to a palm-down gesture as an aggression example)
• Columbo (referenced as an example of persona/likability from the show)
• Angelina (briefly referenced; likely Angelina Jolie, but the subtitle text is unclear)