Summary of Tools for Overcoming Substance & Behavioral Addictions | Ryan Soave

Understanding Addiction

• Addiction is often a solution to underlying stress or trauma, not just a problem itself.
• The key question: "Does it have you, or do you have it?" — assessing control over the behavior or substance.
• Addiction can be to substances (alcohol, drugs) or behaviors (gambling, video games, pornography).
• Addiction provides immediate relief from discomfort but leads to long-term problems.
• Not all use disorders mean lifelong addiction; some are circumstantial.

Initial Approach to Addiction Treatment

• Stabilize physically first, especially in acute cases (detox, medical supervision).
• After stabilization, assess biological, psychological, and social factors.
• Understand the person’s pattern of use and environmental context.
• Build distress tolerance — help people learn how to "feel bad" without resorting to addictive behaviors.
• Address underlying trauma and limiting beliefs formed early in life.
• Treatment environments aim to simulate real-life stressors safely to build coping skills.

Defining and Recognizing Addiction

• A useful self-test: Can you abstain for 30 days? If not, addiction likely has control.
• Look at what the behavior or substance is impacting in life (relationships, work, health).
• Denial is common; family or close ones may see the problem before the individual does.
• Addiction is often linked to a gravitational pull where the addictive behavior makes real life seem dull or underwhelming by contrast.

Addiction and Dopamine Dynamics

• Addictive behaviors and substances cause rapid dopamine spikes, leading to tolerance and craving.
• The pleasure of pursuit (dopamine release during anticipation) is more important than the reward itself.
• Withdrawal or absence of the addictive substance/behavior often leads to emotional lows and distress.
• Recovery involves shifting dopamine reward from the addictive substance to life’s natural rewards.

Building a Balanced Life and Recovery Process

Recovery is a dynamic process, not static balance. Emotional regulation and tolerance to distress are key to maintaining sobriety.

Use a daily “emotional weather forecast”:

• List gratitudes (including challenges).
• Outline plans for the day.
• Assess current emotional state.
• Identify what to watch for (potential triggers or liabilities).
• Set intentions for how to strive or behave.

Sharing this emotional forecast with others can increase accountability and connection.

Tools and Techniques to Increase Distress Tolerance and Self-Regulation

Proactive tools (scheduled practices):

• Yoga Nidra / Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) — guided meditative relaxation that activates the parasympathetic nervous system.
• Cold plunges — train the nervous system to tolerate discomfort and manage adrenaline.
• Therapy, coaching, community support.
• Physical exercise — transmuting energy, improving mood and nervous system regulation.

Reactive tools (in the moment):

• Recognize stress response early by noticing bodily sensations.
• Activate parasympathetic nervous system (e.g., long exhale breathing).
• Create a gap between stimulus and response to avoid impulsive reactions.
• Use techniques like walking away, taking deep breaths, or brief meditation.

Recognize the difference between discomfort and threat; most daily stressors are discomfort, not life-threatening.

The goal is not to avoid distress but to navigate and tolerate it effectively.

Specific Addiction Types and Considerations

• Alcohol: Socially accepted but toxic; 12-step programs are widely accessible and effective for many.
• Gambling: High suicide risk; often a desperate attempt to solve problems quickly; increasing among youth due to online accessibility.
• Pornography: High dopamine impact similar to crack cocaine; can distort sexual expectations and cause performance anxiety; requires complete abstinence and support.
• Stimulants (cocaine, amphetamines): Psychological addiction without physical detox; very challenging to overcome.
• Food and sugar: Often a primary or gateway addiction; linked to cravings and relapse risk.
• Work and stress addiction: Some people need high stress levels to feel alive; stress addiction exists as a drive or pattern.
• Social media and online behaviors: Can be addictive due to dopamine spikes and social isolation effects.

Role of Community and Support

• 12-step programs (Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc.) provide peer support, community, and a roadmap for recovery.
• There are also alternative peer support groups like Smart Recovery and Refuge Recovery.
• Family support groups (Alanon, Families Anonymous) help loved ones cope and assist the addicted person.
• Open communication without shame is crucial when supporting someone struggling with addiction.
• Offering to accompany